Saturday, September 20, 2014

Your Questions Answered

Many of our family and friends have asked us questions about our adoption, so we thought we'd answer them all in one place.  Some questions were easier to answer than others.  Some questions appear to be more invasive, and were somewhat hurtful to us.  However, we know that many people are simply curious and we want to be fair and honest with our answers.


When will your daughter be home?
We do not have an official timeline.  We have a mountain of paperwork to complete (deadline: October). 


Why Uganda?
It's hard to explain why we chose Uganda because it's difficult to explain God's calling to those who may not understand.  When we first talked about adoption back when we were dating in 2005, we both had our hearts set on China.  Then we talked about South Korea, but the orphans are very well cared for there, so we didn't pursue that option.  We finally ended up on Uganda after reading a blog from a missionary in Uganda and then researching the vast number of orphans and the poverty in Uganda.  Through much prayer, we felt that God was leading us to a little girl in Uganda.


You already have two beautiful biological boys.  Why can't you just be happy with the children you have?
You are absolutely correct.  We are blessed to have two biological children, and we are extremely happy with our boys, Jonathan and Owen.  They are gifts from God and we treasure them.  However, we know that our family is not yet complete, and we are being obedient to God by adopting a little girl.


Why adoption?  Why can't just try to have another biological child?
There are over 147 million orphans in the world, and God calls his followers to care for the orphans and widows.  We believe that God has chosen us to grow our family through the gift of adoption.  We do not simply want to help an orphan because we feel sorry for her; rather, we want to adopt because we love children and we want to raise our daughter to love Jesus.  Additionally, Darin and I did not know that we would struggle with infertility when we first talked about adoption nearly a decade ago.  It is not easy for me to conceive (I have PCOS), but isn't impossible, either.  My pregnancies with the boys were both very easy, but the deliveries were not.  I delivered both of my boys via C-section; it's the only way I am able to safely deliver.  It is not healthy for my body to go through repeated C-sections.  (You can read about the crazy delivery of Owen here and here.)


You do know that your daughter will be black, like really black, right?
Yes, we do know that.  :) Truth is, we have never envisioned our family looking like the "All-American" family.  We are not bothered by skin color, and if we're not, why should you be? 





Why don't you adopt a Caucasian child from the United States?  That way, he or she can look just like you.
See our answer to the previous question.


Do you have to travel to Uganda?  If so, for how long?
Yes, we do have to travel to Uganda, and the maximum stay is six weeks.  We will be taking our boys with us so that they can begin bonding with their sister immediately, can experience the culture, and can help serve others while we are there.  And, there is no possible way we could be away from them for such a long time!


How is your family handling your adoption?
I guess it depends on who you ask.  Most family members are supportive, and some are not.  Some simply choose not to talk about it at all.  Our hope and prayer is that as we delve further into the process that they will become more open and accepting.  However, we are going to adopt whether they support us or not, we just hope that they do decide to come around!  Please be in prayer for open hearts for our sake and our daughter's sake.


How does Jonathan feel about a sister?
He is extremely excited.  He calls her by name and just really wants her home.  He just prayed the other night, asking God to "please bring ____ home really soon."


If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask!  We want you all to be open with us, and we want to be open with you!  Thank you all for your continued love and support!

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