If I'm Honest...

I like to plan ahead, I do not like surprises, and I love having a routine/schedule to follow. Unfortunately for me, adoption is full of surprises and is anything but routine.  My life feels a bit really out of control right now, as we await our court date.  I feel as if I can not relax because my mind is going in a million different directions because of so many unknowns:  

• When will we be traveling?
• Will I need to take time off of work?
• Will our adoption be fully funded?
• How will our boys cope while we're gone?
• What if something happens to them while we're out of country?
• What if something happens in Uganda to stall or stop our adoption?

See, if I'm honest, I don't have it all together.  I am struggling internally with so many things, and the only thing that gives me peace is Jesus.  Because no matter what happens, He is for us.  So in my darkest moments, I imagine His arms wrapped tightly around me.  And just when I need it, someone will ask how I am doing.  They will invite themselves into my life and just listen.  When I am wondering how we will fund our adoption, a special someone shows up with an encouraging letter, and sometimes a donation.  These people are showing me God's grace and love, even if they don't realize it.  Thank you for allowing me to be honest.  And thank you, my dear friends and family, for loving me, especially when I'm at my worst.