I appear to be on a blogging hiatus. In reality, I have written most of the monthly blog updates for Owen, and have even taken the pictures. However, my personal computer is still not up and running, so I am using a loaner...and can not figure out the whole picture-uploading thing. I refuse to post his updates without pictures, so I will post them retroactively in the near future (I hope!).
Life gets crazy. Sometimes, I like to appear as if I've got everything figured out and that things are running smoothly. But, that is most definitely not the case.
I invite you to join me in my world for a moment or two, and see the "real" unedited version of my life.
Chaos reigns in my house this week (and if I'm being honest, it's really every week). Here is a perfect glimpse at my imperfect life this week.
1. Got an oil-change on Monday...took two hours instead of a half-hour, which caused Darin to be late picking up the boys. (I was trying to cram grocery shopping into our jam-packed week.)
2. Got into an argument about said-grocery shopping...right before small group. Then pretended as if everything was OK between us. You know, for appearances sake and all.
3. Owen puked four times that same evening, and then woke up with a fever. He didn't sleep AT ALL that night. Lack of sleep made for two grumpy parents. And of course, we took it out on each other. (That's what BFFs are for, right?)
4. Called the Poison Control Center on Thursday evening. Jonathan was in the bathroom, washing his hands, when he got the genius idea to CONSUME HAND SANITIZER. Lovely. While trying to take care of my poor sickly baby, I had to contact the PCC and explain what happened. The sweet lady's question was, "Why did he do that?" I have no clue, lady. Seriously.
***Note: He's OK. Had to drink some sugary juice, just in case his blood sugar were to drop. I think he liked that...like a reward for doing the wrong thing.
5. Gave Jonathan a shower (he hates them) at 10:30 at night when he should have been sleeping. Why? Great question. He came out of his room and said he had to wash his hands. Why? Another great question. Because his hands were covered in poop, of course. And so was his bed, and his floor.... I lost patience. I didn't yell. But boy was I angry. Do you know how hard it is to get the smell of poop to go away? I washed his hands over and over and over again. Nope. Still smell like poop. Lovely.
6. Oh, and if that wasn't enough, Owen woke up during all of the commotion. Jonathan said I woke Owen up when I yelled at Daddy. Great.
7. There is a dry load of laundry in my dryer and a load in the washer ready to go into the dryer. But I don't dare do anything about it right now. My couch is currently covered with all the other laundry I washed and folded (but didn't put away). Adding more laundry to the mix would just add to the chaos. So, I will leave it for now.
8. My house is a mess. I didn't have much time at all to clean this week. Between working and taking care of a sick baby, there was not much time for anything else. (I did manage to change Owen's sheet while wearing him in his carrier. Talent!!!)
Those are just eight of the things that make me far from perfect. Only eight. And I know there are more. Many more. I'm leaving out more arguments than I can count, and more messes than you can even imagine. But the important thing is that God is working on me. He is taking care of these messes and helping me to find His grace in the midst of chaos.
So, here's what I did "right" this week.
1. Held my baby until my arms and back ached. Though it was exhausting, it was a reminder of how dependent my baby is on me. And how dependent I should be on God. When I was so exhausted that I didn't think I could go on, I somehow had energy to do what needed to be done. By God's grace. And I was reminded over and over that Owen will only be little once. And I absolutely treasured the moments that I was able to hold him.
2. Pointed Jonathan to the Lord. It's not easy to guide a young one's heart, but I'm learning. And guess what? Something's clicking. This week, Jonathan decided he wanted to buy gifts for some of the babies in his life. He picked them out; one gift for each of four babies. One of the babies he has never met. She was born with only one hand. Jonathan is very curious about her. He said he wants to visit her and see her hand. "Just to look at it." And then he wants to "play with her."
3. Reconciled with my husband. It's not easy to ask for forgiveness, and it's not always easy to grant it. But that's what Jesus calls us to. Repentance and forgiveness. Not just once. All the time. It's hard, but it's essential.
4. Tomorrow, we'll shop for a family in need. Because Christmas isn't about US. It isn't about SANTA. It isn't about GIFTS. It's about JESUS. It's a time to recognize Jesus' sacrifice, and sacrifice for others through our time and our pocketbooks.
My life is chaotic. But I'm grateful for all that I learn in the midst of the chaos. Thanks for reading.
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